I subscribe to the substack newsletter, Embedded, because it describes itself as ‘your essential guide to what’s good on the internet.’ And each week (I think each week, maybe each fortnight, but very regularly anyway) it includes a piece about someone who is chronically online. They don’t exactly describe it as ‘chronically online’ but I can’t be bothered going to to find out the exact words they use and for all in tents and porpoises it’s what they mean.
Anyhoo, I subscribed to it because I thought it might help me better understand what happens and what is happening on the internet. I think it might help me to make sense of things. And it sort of did in a somewhat paradoxical way.
This morning, I was reading a piece titled ‘Close Friends don’t let Close Friends Snitch,’ and it’s about the close friends function on instagram. I was overwhelmed once again by the feeling that I can’t keep up. I can’t keep up with the number of people, I can’t keep up with who I’m supposed to know and who I’m not supposed to know, I can’t keep up with how it works technically, I can’t keep up with how it works socially. I can’t absorb all of the things that all of the people are doing and I don’t know where to put my attention. And all the while, I have this constant, lingering anxiety about my complete inability to have ever properly established a social media presence. And this ongoing thought that I need to somehow work it out. To make it work for me so that my career (finally) takes off.
There is so much discussion at the moment about what is wrong with social media. But the answer is pretty simple in my mind. In the same way we still call our phones ‘phones’ although they have long since stopped acting as phones, we continue to call social media ‘social media’ although it has long since stopped being about our social lives. Once friendship became truly commodified its socialness was doomed.
Just as I was overwhelmed by the sense that I can’t keep up, my mind did a kind thing and said to me, ‘You don’t have to keep up with it, you know.’ And then my mind kindly answered itself by saying, ‘That’s a good point, you really don’t.’
For a while, I’ve been thinking that my substack newsletter might become an all-in-one replacement for my social media and blog. But I’ve been thinking it for years and it’s never worked that way. I think that’s because I’m mindful that a newsletter lands in someone’s inbox. So it needs to be worth those someones’ whiles. It needs to have substance.
I have many thoughts that I’d like to share more publicly than in just one of my many notebooks. Sharing thoughts and ideas always helps those thoughts and ideas grow stronger. But often I know they will never be strong enough to merit someone’s inbox. In a blog post, you’re simply saying it, and if someone wants to stay and listen they can
I keep making notes in the margins ‘this would be a good blog post’, ‘blog?’ So I guess in a way, this is kind of the footnotes to the newsletter. The appendices perhaps.
Truly, I’ve never found anything as perfect as you, my beautiful strange little blog, for the perfect balance of sharing thoughts and keeping them to myself at the same time.