Category: Uncategorized

A patriotic family

The most mature of the fruits of my loins knows the second (and the first) verse of Our National Anthem. I’ve just watched him singing it this morning at school.

AND HE HAD HIS HAND ON THE GENERAL AREA OF HIS FRIGGING HEART.

Also, his jeans were falling down just a tiny bit, because I forgot to get him to do the bounce test (do these stay up my love? bounce, bounce yeah, these will be fine) after he put them on and before we left home. Anyhoo, details.

He seems to have learnt it (the national anthem) the traditional way – by his teachers at school – whereas I learnt it because my mother liked a bit of a sing after she had a brandy or two. Or three. That’s when I learnt all my best stuff.

Memories

Today, my littlest boy had his first day at pre-entry which is the thing you do in the term before you start pre-school (kindergarten). And so, I spent the day reflecting on how different my life will soon be, and how very sad I am that I won’t be having any more children, and particularly won’t be having any more babies, and I was thinking how much I love babies and what an excellent baby-mother I am (not too good on the three-year-olds, but ace with babies), and how wonderful the days alone in hospital with my littlest baby were…

And then I remembered the strangest thing.

The extra sheet that they put on top of your normal sheet in your hospital bed (to collect seeping blood and other associated muck) is called a kylie. The nurses say such things to each other as ‘did you bring the kylie’ or ‘oh, do you think you can sit up while I just change your kylie’.

And being of the era when kylie could very easily have been my name, and also having a Best Friend at school with that name, I do think someone should have put more effort into that name.

Controller

School Governing Council minutes: done.

Washing status: incomplete but in control.

And my bedside book pile, has recently been augmented by a nice big stack of mags courtesy of the recent house guests. I can, therefore, report on the:

Acquisition of new knowledge:
‘If you put on weight all over, like Kelly Osbourne does, you could be a classic C-type. “These types are either very short or very tall,” Dr Walker says. “They don’t tend to be of average height, and they tend to have round heads and young faces. When they put on weight, they tend to put it on everywhere.”

Major craving: Dairy products. “A C-type is much better off on a higher-protein, high-fat, low-carb and lower-dairy diet,” he says.’

Best workout: Cardiovascular/aerobics with muscle conditioning.
Source: Woman’s Day: June 26, 2006, p. 73
(it’s the one with Katie’s wedding diet battle, pregnant Nicole’s wedding drama, Shannon’s new baby joy Heather Mills’ skinny crisis plus her new divorce scandal, and the exclusive Kerry Whelan’s hubby begs ‘tell me where my wife is’ on the front cover)

At the movies

‘You know, if there were a situation when we might bump into each other, I reckon I’m the kind of person James Spader might possibly be able to love and marry and live with happily ever after,’ she said.

She looked into the lolly bag. He had chosen all of his favourites – bananas, bullets, milkshakes – and none of hers – chicos, freckles, sherbs. It was true that when he had asked do you want any lollies she had said no. But still.

‘Yes, you are,’ he said, holding tightly to the bottom of the bag.

‘So do you reckon, if James Spader did happen to be in Adelaide right now, and he did happen to come to this movie, and he did happen to fall in love with me, do you reckon I’d go home with him?’

‘No,’ he said, reaching past her indecision and grabbing a banana for himself. She thought of making a joke about the price of bananas. Are lolly bananas expensive? she thought of asking. But the bananas weren’t worth the joke anymore. And anyway, this was the movies. Of course the bananas were expensive. Six bucks for a drink and a couple of lollies, and that’s on top of the fifteen dollars each to get in, because their membership had expired not long after their first child was born.

‘Really? You really think no?’ she asked. She looked at him, and when he looked at her, she did not have to look away.

He bit the banana in half before he spoke. ‘No, you’d still be going home in a metallic-coloured station-wagon.’ He put the other half of the banana in his gob.

She looked back into the bag, decided on a milkshake and pulled it out.

‘They never used to be square,’ she said. ‘They’re supposed to be cylindrical.’

‘They’re the imitations,’ he said. He scratched his cheek. ‘The pretenders to the throne.’

She unwrapped it. There was less wax on the paper these days. She put it in her mouth, chewed.

‘Tastes the same,’ she said.

‘Yeah, and they still get stuck in your teeth,’ he said.

And then the usher opened the door, and they said thank you to him as they walked in.

Thursday afternoon

Here’s what I wanted to do today:
Write first draft of synopsis of first (unfinished) draft of new big writing project for submission to the September round of project assistance grants which would probably not be successful this round, but would at least help me to focus myself and clarify thoughts and provide pivot for further developing my ideas.

Here’s what I could be doing which wouldn’t be achieving the Most Important Thing, but would at least be productive:
Typing up minutes of school council meeting for distribution as promised.
Hanging out washing that has just finished.
Folding clean, dry washing.
Bringing in dry washing from the line.
Tidying, then cleaning, desk which is such a mess it is getting me down.
Thinking about tea, because there are house guests who will want feeding at some point.
Writing interesting blog post about family holidays or about rotten things in my fridge.
Cleaning fridge.
Defrosting freezer.
Sending proposal of Very Good Idea for an article to an editor who will ignore my email.
Ringing The Mister to apologise for being a bit grumpy on the phone earlier on, then explain why I am feeling a bit grumpy, thus making him feel slightly bad for forgetting once again, thus regaining the upper hand and the power to choose where we will dine tomorrow evening and which movie we will see this evening while house guests care for children.
Unpicking the toes of the socks, find out how to do proper socks, then finish socks, then deliver to friend.
Ringing Grandfather to ask how he is getting on.
Reading a book.
Gathering information about internet censorship and China and contacting people who might be interested in campaigning on said issue.
Similarly, gathering information about child soldiers and contacting people who might be interested in campaigning on said issue.
Going for a walk, thus gathering ideas and momentum, improving health, the chances of losing a bit of the red wine pudge and well-being.
Organising father’s birthday present.
Playing the piano.
Finishing essay which someone is interested in.
Studying more about organisational diversity.
Phoning a friend to moan about pathetic life.
and so on…

Here’s what I am doing:
Hitting refresh on bloglines every five minutes, listening to Days of our Lives and getting pissed off with myself whenever I look at the time

Book meme

A meme. From Kate. My first ever.

1. One book you have read more than once

I have two children, ages five and about to turn four, so many books are on current high rotation. More than once. More than twice. More than a thousand times. Some of the ones that I am happy to read over and over:
Mr McGee (but a lot of the other Pamela Allen is extremely difficult to read aloud – I know this is slightly controversial, but it’s true);
Diary of a Wombat, Jackie French;
Gordon’s got a Snookie, Wayne Harris:
Let’s Get a Pup, The Gruffalo’s Child, pretty much anything by Martin Waddell, Maurice Sendak, Pierre, a Cautionary Tale in Five Chapters and a Prologue. And for the nights when the day is just over: Rosie’s Walk. 27 words (update: this is wrong, it is 32 words).
And the current favourite: Tashi. Tashi and the anything. Genie. Demon. Giant. Anything.

2. One book you would want on a desert island
Something about survival skills and how to light a fire and so on. Or else a phone book from a really big city – preferably the yellow pages. It would give you lots of ideas and new things to think about.

3. One book that made you laugh
I read The Commitments in a Las Vegas laundromat. It was very, very funny. And so was Las Vegas. One of the best nights of my life. Shane Maloney’s books make me laugh, and I laughed a lot at the first couple of Janet Evanovich books I read. The first part of A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson was hilarious.

4. One book that made you cry
The Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson. And if I need a cathartic release, I go to bed with it, and read until one o’clock then cry myself to sleep.

5. One book you wish you had written
I’m not letting myself lust after other people’s writing at the moment.

6. One book you wish had never been written
Every book has it’s purpose? You have to write one crap book before you can write another, better book? This is copping out, isn’t it? I get really annoyed by stuff like The Rainbow Fish, which was a full-on marketing exercise, not a book.

7. This week, the two books I am reading before I go to bed are:
Black Swan Green.
The Comedy Bible: from stand-up to sitcom – the comedy writer’s ultimate how-to guide. Which I think says something about the true potential of my latest idea.

8. One book you have been meaning to read
Dark Victory. It’s on my shelf, but I just can’t bring myself to read it yet.

9. One book that changed your life
Vector Mechanics for Engineers.
You’d have to fall in love with someone who’s got that on their bookshelf.

Now tag five people:
I think I’ve left it too late. Go and do it if you haven’t already.
Thanks Kate. That was ace.