not quite full moon reflected on a not quite still sea


This evening, I am watching Look Both Ways and drinking exactly the right amount of red.

It’s that kind of night, don’t you think?

Do you know why it’s one of my favourite films? Because of the train driver and his son. One of the most beautiful depictions of the fragility of it all. Ever.

PS This is the view from my the verandah at Kangaroo Island. I found it on my camera the other day.

PPS (sorry, Drew, I can’t remember what you said it was supposed to be the second time) I do not lust after William McInnes in the way that you probably expect me to – as previously discussed.

Thank you, the only way I know how

Yesterday, for the second time in a week, people we don’t know, and people we will probably never meet, saved our block of land. From bushfire. They were sleeping in tents and some of them were very far from home. I don’t know what they’ve missed while they’ve been away. Children’s concerts. Birthdays. End of year work shows. The others – the ones who live nearby – have been working to save a land they know intimately. Know and love. And all the while, we’ve been here in Adelaide, spooked by the smoke which reached us yesterday afternoon and the warnings on the radio and the distance which separates us from them. It’s a cliche, but Thank You doesn’t even begin.

If you go and look at the Country Fire Service (CFS) website, you will see that an extraordinary proportion of Kangaroo Island’s national parks has been burnt by the fires. You might not have heard much about them, but they have burning since the Thursday before last when lightning started a number of fires around the island. Only last night, the fires were declared contained.

Not many people live out near our place. We are on a stretch of undeveloped land, with blocks divided into twenty hectares (or acres – sorry, I’m hopeless with numbers) which are allowed to have one dwelling each. It’s at the end of a lot of dirt road and sandy track, and it doesn’t get the number of visitors that some other parts of the island do.

Until recently, our stretch was mostly owned by islanders who used the blocks for their own holidays, camping on them or building shacks, and just a couple of people living there. Then, over the last few years, a few of the blocks have come up for sale, and we were lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. As it happens, we bought it from the grandparents of some very old friends with whom we had lost touch, and now we spend a few great days together every year. That’s what South Australia is like.

The dwelling on our block is a shack. It’s pretty much one room with no mains water and no mains electricity. We had a small gas hot water system connected to the shower (which is gravity fed, so has bugger-all pressure, but washes the day’s sand and grit away), and we’ve just had a couple of solar panels put on. It’s kind of camping without the edge and with permanent walls.

It – the block – came to us when there were some very difficult things going on. Over the last little while, while I have needed to take it easy, to slow things down, it has been there. There’s no mobile coverage, no internet. There are stars at night, hard-sand walks, and a seabreeze which soothes my soul and reminds me of the simpler days for which I yearn. (even though I know that I romanticise those days).

That block is my haven and the place of my dreams. It is where I will go to recover. To lick my wounds. We will live there one day, me and the mister. Our children will come and say to theirs ‘look, here’s the stairs in the tree we built with Dad’.

Of course, compared to the people who already do live there, or have been visiting there for twenty or thirty years, we wouldn’t lose that much. Dreams mostly. A couple of origami frogs Eldest Boy and I made at Easter time. The hammocks from Mexico. The Birthday Stick. That kind of thing. But we’ve got copies of pretty much all the photos, and I brought the journal back with me from our last trip. So, you know.

But in the last week, an astonishing amount has been lost.

The life of one young man who had a fiancee, a father, a mum. I don’t know him or his fiancee or his family. But you don’t need to know someone to understand the tragedy of his death. That’s one of the things I remember from when my mum died. All of the people who wrote to us, who didn’t know her or us, but still, they seemed to understand.

Other people’s blocks have burned. Land where they live and work. People’s livelihoods have been threatened.

And the land. The scrub, the bushes, the trees. Where do the wallabies go? The goannas. The bats.

If you do go and look at the CFS website, you’ll see it’s asking ‘is your family bushfire ready?’ We’ve always planned to go. We don’t have much choice. We’ve got a good clearing around our place, but we’ve got limited water, no water pressure, and we’ve only just had the solar power put on so we wouldn’t have a reliable pump. We’ve got two little children, and having really only one road out, we’d get no second chance. So even if we’d been there this last week, we’d be gone by now.

So, I’ve looked, from a distance, at those photos of the firefighters. And I’ve heard, through the newspapers, the voices of the people who have had heartbreaking decisions to make this week. I think of the young man and his family. I remember the day when we were living in the Hills, and the smell of smoke, and the fire engines racing down our street, and how I put things in a suitcase while I wondered ‘when exactly do I go?’ and ‘where?’.

I don’t have an insightful reflection on which to end. There don’t seem to be any conclusions. But there’s a lot of things to think.

Where was Chad?

My football wishes are few: that Port win and the Crows lose.

So it’s lucky we were in a place where we could listen to the game (the radio of course) by the light of a campfire with a clear sky full of stars.

And now if you’ll excuse me, there’re several loads of smokey, sandey washing to be done.

Easter Sunday morning

I am not a morning person. Except, on the morning I lifted my head to see my two boys both sitting up in their beds looking through the uncurtained windows of our now bat-proof, but unlikely-to-ever-be-powered shack, windows through which I had, the night before and for several February nights, watched the waning moon rise, windows through which my boys were silently watching the sun come up over the almost-deserted bay where we have, and will, walk and fish and play and whose extremeties we will surely one day find…for that moment, while the soft round cheeks of the round-cheeked one glowed fading shades of gold, and the brown-eyed one held a pillow in his lap, for that particular moment, I was.

tracks in the sand


IMG_1127

Originally uploaded by adelaide writer.

According to my wise friend, the ends of old decades are much harder than the beginning of new ones. ‘When you’re 40,’ she said, ‘it’s a celebration and everyone tells you how good you look.’

Only two more years.

This, by the way, is a photo I took on my birthday when we walked along a beach where no one else had left their footprints that day and my littlest boy drew tracks in the sand, my eldest boy bounced, and everyone poked their fingers into anenomes.

So really, you have to wonder where is all this ‘what have I got to show for my life’ coming from?

Maybe it’s because there was no cake.

meanwhile in a playground not a million miles away and sometimes frequented by me and my kids…


goanna with bulldozer
Originally uploaded by adelaide writer.

This is a heath goanna from Kangaroo Island. Although they do scramble up drains in search of rainwater and sniff around eskies and dinner tables in manners you would consider rather forward in another guest, they are not venomous and are kind of cool to have around. Also, it is not unreasonable to see one while you are living in the scrub, and you can be fairly sure that when you return to more settled establishments, they will be leaving you alone.

Unlike snakes!

Is it safe to put up bat houses?

Statistically, it’s safer than owning a dog or planting flowers. Flowers attract bees whose stings account for far more human fatality than bats. Just banning bicycles or swimming pools would be hundreds of times more effective in saving lives, but how safe do we really want to be?

Quote from here an excellent website about bats which are messy if they roost in your house and your ceiling isn’t properly sealed, but beautiful especially if you see them in the morning when you are not trying to sleep. And things are never quite as spooky when the sun is out.