I imagine there’s a direct link between the number of ‘Adelaide jokes’ ‘jokes about Adelaide’google searches and the upcoming Festival of Arts, Adelaide Fringe Festival and Writers’ Week, and the subsequent arrival of various comedians, buskers, cabaret performers, writers and others in need of quick quips with which to get their audience on side.
I was thinking of leaving you-all a few tips and pointers, but then I realised that was just another reason not to be writing my own material, so I won’t. I did hear two very funny Adelaide jokes from Fringe visitors last year, but I’m not going to write them here, because I can’t rememebr who said one of them and because the other performer is coming back this year, and might be wanting to use her joke again (it was brilliant enough). So, one piece of general advice only: jokes about weird murders and so forth are okay, providing they are original – we have pretty much heard every variation over the years and they mostly haven’t been that hilarious. Feel free to email me if you want to fact-check anything such as whether the Harris Scarfe cafeteria is still open (in my opinion, a shadow of its former self) or whether the air-conditioning on the trams is working (barely) or whether there is any lawn left in our backyard due to water restrictions and recent introduction of beagle (no). Also, the Port Power footy team rocks the universe, and you can go on a dolphin cruise on the Port River for only $3.50. It’s awesome. If you don’t believe me, ask Pavlov’s Cat.
I really must stop there.
It’s true, the dolphin cruise is awesome. Comfortable boats, reliable dolphin sightings, smooth ride up the river, good excuse to check out the maritime and railway museums which are both within a short walk of the boat landing, and costs less than a latte in Chapel, Acland or Lygon Streets, or in any part of Sydney.
It’s true, the dolphin cruise is awesome. Comfortable boats, reliable dolphin sightings, smooth ride up the river, good excuse to check out the maritime and railway museums which are both within a short walk of the boat landing, and costs less than a latte in Chapel, Acland or Lygon Streets, or in any part of Sydney.
I was disappointed on my dolphin cruise, not a single sighting. The cruise itself was relaxing though.
In my opinion Harris Scarfe’s cafeteria wasn’t so good to begin with, but the ladies toilets now are much worse than before. The new layout is badly planned and there are fewer stalls. I avoid the entire store now.
The Harris Scarfe cafeteria used to be the highlight of my childhood trips to Adelaide. Roast of the Day. And my mother had capuccino. Unsophisticated, it’s true, but it was the seventies. I once watched a man on his lunchbreak eating a meal, and I kept smiling at him because I thought he must be terribly lonely sitting there all by himself with no one to talk to, and I imagined that his wife must have died in childbirth, and his children had left to live with an aunt, unable to penetrate the wall of unforgiveness he had built between himself and them because he could never stop blaming them for her death. I considered leaving him a note with our phone number, but didn’t. You know, I don’t think I’ve been to the Ladies since they stopped having a Lady at the front who took your coins. Remember when it cost 5 cents to do a wee? How can you not have loved the Harris Scarfe cafeteria?