bitter sweet at the end of winter and the beginning of spring

Fourteen years ago, my Dad had to ring me to tell me my Mum had died. I imagine it was a pretty shitty job.

So it was good that today, I got to spend a goodly amount of time with my Dad at the engagement party of a cousin who, it must clichedly be said, has never been happier. A cousin who, every now and then, thinks good things about my Mum. And every now and then, he thinks to mention these thoughts to us.

In fact, let me tell you, it was good that I got to spend time with my Dad. We’ve had good news this week. All of my uncles said isn’t it good and smiled in the way that brothers would. And all of my aunties gave me a hug. They’re good like that, my aunties are. They very often hold me in their arms and let the silence do the work.

And one day, maybe I’ll let my cousin know about the particular day he chose. But probably I won’t. It might tip the balance. Balance is a difficult thing.

And that explains why I have spent this week cleaning the laundry and sorting the kitchen drawers.